Wednesday, August 31, 2011

2 Weeks From Now...

...Guaranteed, I'll be in Rwanda (unless, of course, there is another hurricane or earthquake here on the East Coast). I'll be well on my way, sadly waving goodbye to my loved ones here in Philadelphia, my very beloved hometown.

I gave my blog the title "Rwanda, Guaranteed," because as arbitrary and generic as it sounds, physically being in Rwanda for 27 months (hopefully) is the closest thing to a guarantee I have for this upcoming experience. I don't know where my site will be, if I'll find happiness, if I'll find some definition of success, if I'll get malaria, or if I'll regret any part of my decision.

When I began applying to Peace Corps, close to 2 years ago, I needed the process to go faster, to happen quicker, to be less arduous. I had set my sights on PC 6 years prior and nothing could stop me. It felt so special and unique. Setback after setback only gave me more motivation to work harder, but after a while  also forced me to be happier in my current jobs and with the people surrounding me at the moment. I stopped simply waiting for something to happen. I found that work could be special and fulfilling and interesting as long as I invested myself in things I cared about. Rather than constantly looking forward to an experience that would take away my present situation and dump me arbitrarily in a country I have nothing to do with, I began to appreciate the people and experiences immediately in my sights... So when suddenly I was medically cleared and had an impromptu interview that led to an Invitation to Rwanda 1 day later, I was... in shock.

I had dreamed of the moment: ripping open the Invitation Packet, being filled with joy, enthusiasm, profound excitement-- admittedly, I even watched YouTube videos of PCVs opening their Invites as motivation to keep me going through the ups and downs of the application. Yet there were no such feelings upon opening my own packet. The allure of mystery & obscurity is definitely more enticing than the concrete answer: you are going to Rwanda for 27 months because the timing is finally right. It felt so frivolous and random-- and I guess that's how the whole process goes, and maybe I'm more prepared for that now. Yet imagining possibilities for so many years felt very different than having only one. Two years ago, I had been so ready to leave Philly, but now my roots have grown a bit too deep and this feels like as much of a loss as it is a wonderful gain.

Honestly, I'm looking forward to it all, I'm just going to miss the people and places I love more than I can say.

Until the beginning, thanks for all the support and encouragement.

Alyssa

1 comment:

  1. You are amazing. Just an awesome human being. I always knew you were smart, guess I never realized how enlightened you are. Funny to think I was going to teach you something new, or show you something you never saw... All those hours you spent talking to me must have dulled your brain. Sorry about that. You never cease to amaze. Hope you are well. The world is greater because of you.

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